Embracing Frustration Using Somatic Therapy
An important and tangible shift to put the “fun” in frustration
4 min read
In high-density cities such as New York City, where New Yorkers are stereotyped to be quite angry, frustration is a universal emotion that often comes with our pursuit of goals and aspirations. What if I told you that frustration is not just a hurdle to overcome, but a sign that your brain is undergoing profound changes?
Frustration is an emotion we’ve all experienced in our lives—and for some, likely many times too often. Perhaps even during our daily NYC subway commute. This makes it even more essential to take the edge off working with frustration. Hard as it might be to fathom, there are many reasons to embrace frustration.
Picture a world where we might say “have a frustrating week” instead of “a nice one.”
Sure, “embrace” or “celebrate” aren’t verbs that go hand-in-hand with frustration. Especially if you, like many in NYC, encounter it yourself or at least in many others on daily commutes, in the office, over email, etc.
Whether it’s how it feels to hit the same roadblocks or setbacks in career, relational patterns, or when working toward personal goals of our own, frustration is an inevitable part of the human experience. But what if I told you frustration is key and even essential for transformation and growth? Let’s take a look at the superpower frustration can be.
“Picture a world where we might say ‘have a frustrating week’ instead of ‘a nice one.’”
Often viewed in quite the negative light, frustration is associated with feelings of anger, disappointment, and stress. However, the feeling itself can be a signal of something not working as expected, and a powerful reminder to course correct!
If you really think about it, success is far likelier when we can take the somatic body signals to reassess our approaches and make the adjustments needed.
What if instead of viewing the feeling of frustration to be a roadblock, we could see it as a sign of the progress so many of us yearn to see? Beginning a process of celebrating frustration means starting to see it in a new light, and as an opportunity for growth and learning. It’s something that tells you in it that you are trying to learn, grow, and rewire your neural pathways into a new way.
Common therapeutic approaches centered around frustration or anger management tend to include Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) work to change your thoughts about a situation in order to influence different behaviors. Somatic therapies tend to go a little deeper in using a “bottom up” approach vs. a “top down.” According to Anne Heller, a psychotherapist at Downtown Somatic Therapy. “When anger is truly felt in the body and has not been felt in the past, it can be a cathartic experience. It can be moving and empowering to learn what your body knows.” The same can be said about frustration.
“What if instead of viewing the feeling of frustration to be a roadblock, we could see it as a sign of the progress so many of us yearn to see?”
If this is difficult to imagine doing, this is because frustration arrives with very uncomfortable physical sensations interconnected with our emotions and thoughts. By working with a somatic therapist, you’ll be able to learn techniques to help explore and release any tensions and stress held in the body, as a result of frustration, allowing for greater space for tolerating the feelings and reducing its hold on you.
“Frustration can be a complex emotion, especially as it can be linked to specific difficult memories and neural pathways. Through somatic awareness, we can learn to tune into the physical sensation associated with our frustration. This could be tension in the muscles, shallow breathing, and increased heart rate.”
According to Stephanie Alirkan, a therapist at Downtown Somatic Therapy, “Frustration can be a complex emotion, especially as it can be linked to specific difficult memories and neural pathways. Through somatic awareness, we can learn to tune into the physical sensation associated with our frustration. This could be tension in the muscles, shallow breathing, and increased heart rate.”
Most of us find ourselves frustrated when we make an error, and it’s quite natural to want to give up. What we could be missing in not giving ourselves a chance to get to know their frustration intimately is that the errors are signaling something doesn’t work, which signals a release of neurotransmitters that say “change something.” Next, dopamine is released when things improve to help the process.
Stanford University neuroscientist and professor, Andrew Huberman, teaches us that frustration is more than just a pesky feeling, but rather it’s a signal that the brain is actually rewiring itself through positive neuroplasticity. When obstacles arise, our brains respond by forming new neural connections to adapt and overcome. . In other words, frustration is evidence of our brain's remarkable ability to learn, adapt, and grow in the face of adversity.
How we can work with this is noticing that it is not a sign of a setback, but rather a celebration of the sign of progress and transformation that it truly is. Imagine a world where we can embrace each moment of frustration as an opportunity to acknowledge our brains are rewiring ourselves. By embracing this frequently met feeling, we are able to cultivate a lifestyle of curiosity, exploration, and acceptance.
Through somatic therapy, we can learn to harness the power of frustration, facilitating neuroplasticity and personal transformation. The next time you encounter frustration, remember to celebrate it as evidence of your brain’s remarkable ability to adapt, and evolve.
Tools for Working with the Neuroplasticity of Frustration: To cultivate more access to the neuroplasticity of frustration, try some of the following tips:
Focus on 1 skill to practice or improve on. Let’s focus on starting to read more.
Start with a relatively short bout of learning around 7-30 minutes-no more. I’d suggest starting with reading for 10 minutes a day.
This is personal, but find the sweet spot between enough difficulty to welcome errors, but not so much that it is above your threshold for frustration.
Gently remind yourself that you’re deliberately making these errors. In challenging yourself, it is very likely a sign of success to make errors.
As you begin to start feeling frustrated, keep it going.
Repeat reading for the same 10 minute span for a couple of days.
As you notice the frustration levels start to change, observe the positive feelings or rise of dopamine as you start to find the task easier.
Ready to take on frustration, irritation, or anger together? By working with one of our somatic therapists, you’ll be able to learn techniques to help explore and release any tensions and stress held in the body, as a result of frustration, allowing for greater space for tolerating the feelings and reducing its hold on you. Schedule a consultation to one of our therapists.